Queens of fucking everything (fomerly known as The fabulous Juli and The amazing Jo):
Queens of fucking everything (fomerly known as The fabulous Juli and The amazing Jo):
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*[[___ and the past is in the past... `-//*
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Y UPDATES Y
15 Juni 2006
Donnerstag, Juni 15, 2006
Hello to all of the lonesome wolfs out there...
Today we want to present you an absolutely fabulous band we saw some weeks ago at MTV and we loved them from the same moment on!!
The music is not at all easy to describe - they take popular songs and transform them into hilarious but great rock ´n´ roll / country versions... Just amazing!!
One of those guys has a voice that - well, I´ll try to keep it clean!! - is breath-taking, it´ll make you crave for this guy, it is deep and sounds like velvet, your knees will start shaking and my mouth will start to slobber, your brain is going to imagine how this man - oh, soryy, I wrote something about keeping it clean but I guess I made it PERFECTLY clear that this one has not an ordinary voice... haaaa ... So, check them our here! We luuuuuuv cowboys You can listen to some music tracks and see their funny video clips. Yeah baby!!
Aren´t they lush?? 
And the best of everything: They are going to perform here in Heilbronn, at the famous and well known (...well - hm...) Gaffenberg Festival what is going to take place at the Gaffenberg, that is BTW our vineyard :-). We´ll tell you then how it was.
XXXX Jo
(will join the Juli right now, she made some COFFEE, isn´t she just gorgeous??)
Y UPDATES Y
09 Juni 2006
Freitag, Juni 09, 2006
...when the weather is fine,
You could stretch right up and touch the sky,
Now when the weather is fine
You got women, you got women on your mind...
Only that the Juli and me have majorly men on our mind :-).
So we are going to spend this weekend at the Julis home, in the lovely city of congresses and wine, FELLBACH!! If you want to know what it´s like in this magificent place here is the webcam!! We have to finish our seminarpaper. Hmpf. But I guess we can still consider us as lucky, as we know some guys who really have crappy themes like fear of flying. Well, yes, that´s also interesing but not that interesting like "Male holidays and prostitiution". Tehehe.
We have to be in Stuttgart before the match Germany - Costa Rica ends, because if not...well, we all know how much football fans can suck!! But due to the fact that the world cup is going to take place in Germany (...50% of the Juli and Jo Show are not so happy about it, guess WHO!!), we´ll give you the link of the official site...World Cup 2006.
That´s all for this moment, we hope you will get through the next month (...)
without going mental! (Let´s just hope that Michael Ballack is so badly hurt that he will never be able to play again!!)
Hugs and kisses XXXXXO
Juli and Jo
Y UPDATES Y
06 Juni 2006
Dienstag, Juni 06, 2006
Thanks to the Julis great preperatory work, the Jo is that close to get married..juuuuuhu!!! I´ll just give you the most important details (we have no time we have to organise a wedding :o):
The Juli looked through the lonely hearts ads (a wonderful pastime for sunday mornings - 70 year old man (still very attractive) with money looking for girls between 18 and 25. Nothing has to be done, but everything can happen..muhahaha). And finally found the perfect man for the Jo (I mean I was nice enough to let her have him...) Check out his ad:
Surfer-guy 27/187/79 wealthy, with a lot of free time is looking for a cleaning lady for his apartments. Cleaning material and washboard will be provided, later marriage is possible....
Aaaaand she wrote him an E-Mail, telling him that she is not sure if he is a asshole or just a nice guy!! And he responded immediately (from Formentera!)that he was a nice guy who liked to have a photo from the Jo...
Now we are waiting for the wedding! Muuuuhahahahaha..
Sooo for all lonely hearts outside: we can just recomend to take a look at the lonely hearts ads and you`ll feel very happy about being single..
Oh, and check this out!! You wanna see Tom Cruise going crazy?? Don´t miss it (and AGAIN be happy to be single!)
Kisses
The Juli and the Jo (temporarily in love..:oa>
Y UPDATES Y
02 Juni 2006
Freitag, Juni 02, 2006
..now it´s official!! There is not just the (BTW gorgeous) Juli and Jo Cosmos in Heilbronn. There are also some other people circling around our world...aaand today we will tell a little bit about them..(`cause we are not very willing to learn private economy law (the second (and even more annoying) part)).
First of all the basic information about our semester: we are 40 girls and 5 men (ok there were 3 more..nobody knows why they quit :o) and that would be a male quata of 2,25 % (now you know why we hate statistics..Numbers can sound sooo depressing...)
For all non gossip people..stop reading now and go directly to the end of the comment!!
1.) The guy with the strong arms
He is definitibly one of our best party friends (except if he talks about his nipples to complete strangers.. if that´s the case, trust us, we are far away from him). But he is a nice fun guy, we can always joke with him and also he is the best looking one of the male fraction. Maybe that´s why he has a girlfriend. Good people.
2.) The guy who smiles when he´s drunken
A very friendly and serious working student that never answers our little messages we send (or throw at...) him during boring lessons. He is one of those you can always ask for help and who never gets pissed of. Also a girlfriend. Good people.
3.) The guy who is probably half and half (Jo)..or just very nice (Juli)!
He always hangs arround with women, esp, with ONE, and our opinions of this sexuality are divided. Well, we really have no clou if he is or if he is NOT. We will maybe find it out in the next semesters. Good people though.
4.) The guy that would flirt 25 h a day
He loves himself. He flirts with everything that seems to have breasts. Maybe a girlfriend with good nerves in our semester, or several affaires at the moment. Good people if he`s not drunken (but he was it last wednesday), but we have to admit that it is due to alcohol he will help us with our new kitchen.
5.) The guy we never talk to
Yeah. Well...girlfriend. Probably good people.
And now some of the girls (for different reasons):
1.) The chick we hate.
Grrr. Talks without being asked and tells stupid stories about boyfriend. Ugly hair. Ugly eye make up. Ugly character. Tries to impress during french classes, but is just a MESS.
2.) The chick we like very much.
Funny. Cute. Good people :-).
3.) The "two haircuts" in original: Die zwei Frisuren. Used as a standard expression. Like in: "Sind die zwei Frisuren schon da?" - "Gott, ja.")
GOOOOOOD could just please somebody give them a number of a hairdresser. Or even a bit of shampoo would do well. Beurk.
4.) The chick that always asks stupid questions.
No comment!!
5.)The chick with the voluminous ponytail.
Perhaps inofficial girlfriend of The guy who would flirt 25 h a day.
6.) That list is to be continued till number 40...
As you can see there are not many people to hang out with in our semester...
Luckily there are about 2960 other students at our university...and we will introduce you now to the most exciting ones..better change the direction if you see them coming...
1. The african tutor (Allez les filles!! Dansez, dansez!!) Guess we wrote about him.
2. The disgusting one. This is a Juli-connection. He just came and kissed her... for some threadbare reasons she didn`t like it... well, hmmm totally not understandable!! (you haven´t seen him naked on the dancefloor with female strippers!!)
3. The cruel twins (in mind). MONTY AND SHORTY!!!
GOD BE MERCIFUL!! Just be happy that you don´t know them.
4. The un-relaxed statistic tutor..
And we thought that Shorty was a horrible teacher.. now we changed ( "im endeffekt") our opinion..It can always get worse.
5. all students from the "wine-growing-faculty" (the german school system is just amazing) and we thought we had no idea of anything!
6. all students who block our elevator in the morning and all the men who are in the elevator with that incredible after-shave-smell. "Shower is occupied? Ok, don´t mind, I´ll just put some parfume on..."
Ok, that was enough bitching for today, now we´d like you to meet some really nice ones!!
1.) The slovacian taxi company. He really was a cutie (guess he is still alive, but we haven´t met him in a while!!). Pretty eyes. Good manners. A bloody shame that we weren´t out with him more often. Maybe that was a bit the Julis fault. We will never know what really happend in the vineyards behind her house, but he never called again. Hm. Perhaps she had too much coffee before and he did not get the whole amount of words she said per minute. German wasn´t his language :-).
But everything has a meaning, so maybe that was because he was not made for one of us. Anyway we´ll try to contact him later... haaaaaa!!
2.) The good looking spanish guy...
Verrrrry cute... but we never talked to him..we don`t want to destroy the nice picture :o) Still trying to repress the fact that he hooked up with a horrible french girl.
3.) El Torro :o)
Because he is soooo crumpy and we like that!!
4.) Da W-Lan guy
The Jo fancied him for two days. Temporarily in love.
5.) The shy one (the wrist-guy)
Ohohoh. Good people if he is drunk. Very complicated. Seems to have the lowest self confidence ever seen, but we can also be wrong. We hardly never talked to him in classes, just when we met him at parties. Than he could even get flirtious.
"Tu me donne une cigarette?"
"Oui, mais seulement parce que je veux être caressé." HELLO?!!
And he agreed to help us with the move. If he doesn´t have to take the heavy stuff. Proposed to carry the blanquet. Cuuuuuuutieeee. We really like him, but we don´t know what he is like.
6.) The bavarian with the blue eyes (and a car)
GOOD PEOPLE! A regular in the Klubsofa.. So friendly. Nice smile. Nice hair. Nice guy in general. We met him today again after our french class and he proposed immediatly to drive us home. And yesss, we are easy to get... Unfortunately we couldn`t take him upstairs because the Juli didn`t do her cleaning-job very well :o)
7.) Raul...
Julis boyfriend. (No. Julis immaginary boyfriend)
Grumpf!! I sooo dont wanna talk about that! Anyway I have to go Raul is waiting outside in his BMW... ;o)
Ahaa. Yep.
8.) Our new floormate!
Lives with his friend in the apartment next to the one we will move in soon. Juli knows him from the Klubsfa, where he works as a waiter. Good people.
So. We have a date tonight with the chick we like.
In the end we just want to say something very serious:
We dedicate this comment to all of our friends (wherever they are at the moment..), we love you and thank you for being real friends. We are happy that we found you all (which is surprisingly unusual if you consider the high amout of crappy fools walking around in the world :o)
Hugs and kisses, XXXXXXO
Juli and Jo
(The Juli is very busy repairing her heating. Yesss, german summers!! But she is doing fine, I guess...*klongklong* She looks good doing it!!)
Y UPDATES Y
01 Juni 2006
Donnerstag, Juni 01, 2006
It was a very hard day for us!
We got up at 6:30 to have a shower and catch the bus to arrive at 8 at university and man, we tell you we had a hard time :-). We could´t even figure out what was worse: Getting up so early after a party night or having statistics for 3 hours today!!
So, what should we tell first?
We left last night - we walked, of course, we didn´t even stressed us anymore with the try to get the right bus, we simply decided to - go. The Jo was rushing screaming at the breathless Juli ( always 50 meters behind her..)due to a urgent female need. To make it short: here the most important events of our great party evening!
1. Sangria can make people do horrible things 
(especially one bucket of sangria in 4 minutes..and we don`t have to mention the straws..)
2. Never ever miss the happy hour if you have no money ( we were sipping on our little plastic mug for at least 2 hours. Aaah and we shared one beer..well we weren`t the ones with the hangover today)
3. We truely hope that some people already forgot what they did last night (scary parings between students from our semester.. urgh!!!)
4. We discovered a whole new party place without doormen (the only disadvantage: to many people got in the club..)
5. We met some nice guys..means the Jo tried to flirt with shy Daniel (who didn´t got it at all ooor he is just a good actor..ok, or gay). Quotation of the massive flirt attack by the Jo
:
Daniel: Oh wooooow Thilo is soooo cool...
Jo: WHAT?? Do you fancy him?!!!
Daniel: Hmm...yes.
Jo: Oh noo (rolls her eyes in a flirtious butterfly way), now I have wasted to much time this evening and now within one second you just destroyed all of my hopes...
Daniel: Oh, do you fancy Thilo?!! *Juli collapsed of laughter in the background 
*
6. Micha felt being turned on by the Juli. (She says it´s not true but she shouldn´t have said to him to get off her pants. He liked that. A LOT!!!)
7. Nice encounter with our new floormate Robert and a lovely bavarian guy Juli knows from her work (guess she fancies him).
8. Long time appointment with the police on our way back and an heavy weight truck that happend to pass our way when we wanted to cross the street. Nearly got killed!! It never took us so long to get over a road.
9. Were home quite early (2.30 or so), and had an stupid day full of statistics at university.
So, that was it from the Party Princesses...and now - again - we will present you the new HOT BABE OF THE MONTH JUNE 2006!!!
And that is - tata, tata:
Mr. ROBBIE WILLIAMS!!! *screaming girls*
Because:
1.) He is damn HOT.
2.) He is not married yet.
3.) He is on the top of his sexual efficiency.
4.) Gary Barlow sucks.
5.) He is so not the guy mothers want for their daughters. We simply say Chaqun à son goût.
6.) Apropos french: He recorded songs in french and spanish (luuuush accent...haaaa)
7.) We would at no doubt go to an abbey after having had one night with good sex with him. At least, we guess so. Not that we would have tried yet. So, Robbie...if you read that JUST COME (and put a smile on our faces:-) )!!!!
So. We seriously have to sleep now 
.
Hugs, kisses, "donne le meilleur de toi-même et tu trouveras l´amour surprême" muahahaha (very evil laughter), sweet dreams and more comprehensive guys for you than for us.
XXXO Juli and Jo