Queens of fucking everything (fomerly known as The fabulous Juli and The amazing Jo):
Queens of fucking everything (fomerly known as The fabulous Juli and The amazing Jo):
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Y UPDATES Y
30 April 2006
Sonntag, April 30, 2006
Ladies and Gentlemen! Today The Juli and Jo Show presents you the Hot Babe of the Month May 2006.
It has been a hard decision for both of us – the floating number of photos we got from all parts of the world overwhelmed us (are you guys getting that we´re being ironic?!) and due to the great variety of beautiful people around us we had to think about our winner of may over and over again.
We would like to introduce you now to one person, who nearly made it to the throne of may. 
Bernd das Brot! (in English: Bernd the bread) He is a very popular person in german TV channels and mostly known for his constantly bad humour. He started his career as a mascot for a german bakery chain that BTW totally flopped – not very surprising, if you ask us, nobody wants to buy depressive toast!! – and the shattering risk of unemployment made him work for the KI.KA (kids channel). Bernd das Brot has his own TV Show called “Tolle Sachen” (“Great Things”) where he and his mates Briegel der Busch (Briegel the bush) - inventor and Chili das Schaf (Chili the sheep) – stuntsheep test new products. Bernd das Brot is also a singer and recorded several CDs with great songs like “Tanz das Brot” (“Dance the bread”). If you want to learn more about him, check out his fansites.
We simply love him! He´s so cute and if you look closely, you will see that he actually has no arms - only hands that are growing directly from his shoulders. Poor one. Shake hands?? Nope, niet, nada. Not with Bernd das Brot. He always says: "I would if I could but as you can see I have no arms!"
The Juli and Jo Show thinks that this guy really deserves a place in our hearts and TVs. He is resisting that annoying good-humour-terror and proves that every person on earth has the right to be in a bad mood!!
He was incredibly close to the winning podium. So close.
The only concurrent that hit our target more is….
Ladies – take a seat!! 
…His Royal Highness Carl Philip Edmund Bertil Prince of Sweden, Duke of Värmland.
Tataaaaaaaa!!
Well now if that is not the most gorgeous guy you ever met, we can´t help you anymore…
The qualities that made him HBOTM May 2006:
1.) He is a Royal Highness, but he’ll never be King of Sweden. So his wife will have more favours than duties!! No Lady Di Drama!!
2.) He looks DIVINE in tails!! 
2.) He has a naval education – important because he’s also looking absolutely stunning in his uniform. Need Prove? Look at this!! 
3.) He is studying graphic design and is interested in arts!!
4.) His mother is german, so if we would be really pissed in this cold and empty palace, we (at least WE that are german, hehe) can always have a nice little chat with the Queen.
5.) He´s athletic and likes sports (skiing and sailing) and loves motor sports.
6.) He. Is. Just. ADORABLE!!! 
(here with his younger sister Madeleine)
So.
Got it??
For further information, click “Meet Carl” in our links and crave for this marvellous guy (and check out his family).
Y UPDATES Y
27 April 2006
Donnerstag, April 27, 2006
The Juli and I realized today that we forgot a very important quotation in our collection of the best sentences ever (4th april)!
During the fabulous episode of Friends where The Brad stars as the former best, fat friend Will of Monica (she was the thin one of both!!), Phoebe manages to tell the world the greatest truth of all times!
"Just take off your shirt and tell us!"
I don´t think that there can be a better discription of what we would like to see him doing. 
Wheeeee!
XXXD
The Jo
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26 April 2006
Mittwoch, April 26, 2006
..because the coffee bag was empty this morning..Whyyyyy??? Its not supposed to be empty if we have to take the bus at 7.15 in the morning. Ok, me being to unorganised to write a shopping list could be a possible explanation...
Ahhh, by the way: we didn´t miss the school bus ( and that without coffein, I´m kind of proud!!) plus the driver was this time friendly enough to take us with him.. Result: we were in time for the first time for weeks and nobody noticed it :o(
Soo for everybody who was planning to sent coffe-care-packages: the crisis is over now: Just bought a new bag and invited the Jo ( who had to suffer a little bit under my No-coffee-for-breakfeast-mood..and the presence of our former charming french tutor Moise, trying to promote his new evening courses )for a cup of coffe in combination with a 100 % diet-free gâteau... wich is waiting for me.. sorry guys I have to go now..food comes first!!!!
Big creamy kiss from the Jo and the Juli
Y UPDATES Y
24 April 2006
Montag, April 24, 2006
Oh my god, you´ll never guess want just happend to me! I was just going home and while I was walking up this evil vineyard the russian embassy (in my house about 70% of the population is russian) is situated on, I met a guy halfway of the road.
I was thinking: "Oh heyyy, that´s a fit one!", but not in a serious way, you know? Just what you think sometimes if you see someone who is not grossly disfigured.
And than, suddendly when we were side by side, he asked me:
"Wanna taste something sweet?"
And - I, I was like: "What?!"
"Wanna taste something sweet?"
You know what I said?! "No, thank you!"
NO, THANK YOU?! Hello?!! This guys just asked me if I would like to - well, you all know what he was asking - and what I said was no, thank you. 
That´s so me. Jesus.
A man in the street is suggesting some sexual action I really don´t want to do with him and instead of screaming my head of I´m thanking him. Wow.
The force is SO NOT with me.
The (horrified) Jo
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22 April 2006
Samstag, April 22, 2006
The Juli and Jo Show proudly presents the first election to the...
It will be a monthly competition and every one can be elected - there are only a few items, that need to be fulfilled to make somebody eligiable.
1.) Good looks
2.) Humour
3.) Intelligence (this point can be neglected if the appearence of the person is just beautiful enough - hey, we´re talking about an imaginary election, so we can ignore qualities that are very important in real life!)
4.) Availiable photos that support the theory
Anyone can be chosen (the sex doesn´t matter).
So.
The first Hot Babe of the Month (April 2006) is...
Milo Ventimiglia!!
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We chose him due to his fabulous performance as the character Jess in the great TV series Gilmore Girls, his wicked smile and lovely eyes (ignoring the fact that he seems to be together with his Co-Star Alexis Bledel).
Not convinced yet? Check this out :-)!!
Y UPDATES Y
10 April 2006
Montag, April 10, 2006
The horrible seminarpaper-time is now officially over..
We had our last meeting ( was heisst jetzt nochmal Meeting auf Englisch??? :o) on a stud farm, trying to follow the exposés of the others ( from nine in the morning till 11 at night - that´s the german working morale we all love - a schedule which forced us to give up on our great Gilmore-Girls-marathon-plan ), which is by the way not that easy if you suffer from a distinct deficit of sleep and the person in front of you is trying to break the time-record in talking about religious tourism motives.. 
Sooo today is our first relaxed day. (So relaxed that Jo missed the first lecture ( which starts at 15.45!!! :o) by oversleeping.) From now on there will be no more haevy businessbooks on my desk, in my bed, next to the kitchen stove etc( or at least not for the next couple of days), no stress with quoting quotations within quotations, no nervous waiting in front of the coffee machine ( but I guess you will still find me there from time to time..:o)and the best thing: more than 4 hours sleep per night...mhhhh I got to go!!! Just going to make a little detour, checking the overstocked fridge ( never ever leave me alone in a hypermarket with a creditcard..) before I will do my best to get rid of the dark circles around my eyes ( till next week-end (= eastern = big familly meeting with a lot of over-caring members) they have to be gone, I dont need another box of vitamins and fancy talks about health!!!)
Good night kisses to all Non-snorers!!
The Juli
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06 April 2006
Donnerstag, April 06, 2006
Arghh! AAAAAARRGHH!!
My life is such a mess! I don´t even manage to get up at a right time. Settled my alarm clock yesterday but - today instead of getting up I switched off my cell phone by accident and overslept.
It ist just me or do I feel really stupid??
Ok - at least I can prepare my exposé for sunday morning in Marbach in the meantime. I think we´ll have a fabulous time during this trip - the Juli´s and my fave prof from Bremen Herr Bochert is going to be with us, plus 9 girls from our faculty. I´m really looking forward to it. We´ll leave tomorrow at 8 am and come back sunday afternoon. I´ll take my camera with me, so you can see what happened in the pittoresque village of Marbach, situated in the delightful Schwäbische Alb (can´t believe what I just wrote...).
I think we are going to take some dvds to have a bit entertainment in the evenings -I imagine a non-stop-Gilmore-Girls marathon from dusk till dawn...with Jess (haaaa...) and the constantly in a bad mood guy Luke.
For myself I am desperately waiting for my new law and econonic books (sure, what else...) aaaaand the dvd of Türkisch für Anfänger, yaaay!!
Well...I´ll do a bit of Powerpoint now...tried to call the Juli but she wouldn´t answer and - aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh!
Jeez! I´m watching the weather forecast and they showed the delightful Schwäbische Alb covered in 20cm of snow... I really don´t know what I did to deserve THAT.
Have a nice day, go out, fall in love, make love (SO not what I´ll do).
XXXO
The Jo
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04 April 2006
Dienstag, April 04, 2006
AAAAAAAAAHHHHH WE GOT OUR NOTES FOR THE SEMINAR PAPER TODAY AND WE BOTH PASSED EVEN BEFORE THE EXPOSÉ......... JAAAAAAAA JUHU!!
AND the Juli wrote the best seminar paper of all!! You remember?? Juli, the one who wrote all nights long, being absolutely desperate about this crazy paper, turned out to be the star of our group. Not that I´m jealous. I know who´s the intelligent one of us ;-) (may I just mention that she forgot to cook rice with our meal?? Well but she bought us a nice bottle of our fave wine for dinner, isn´t she gorgeous??).
Sooo... Finally we´d like to inform you about some sentences which could change - in our opinion - the world...
"You don´t get two children by heavy petting." Shah Rukh Khan during an interview.
"Was heißt noch mal feeling auf englisch?" Klinsi in der sensationellen SWR3 Serie.
"I´m the superhero of crime, I should have a big C on my chest!" Christian Slater in "Who´s Cletis Tout?".
"Co-founded!!" The Brad in his guest-role in "Friends".
"Alles muss raus was keine Miete zahlt!" The Julis landlord when she was coughing heavily... (poor one :-(( )
"I´ll cut your heart out with a spoon!!" The evil Sheriff of Nottingham to Robin Hood in "Robin Hood - Prince of Thieves".
"Will Scarlet O´Hara. We´re from Georgia." The lush Will Scarlett O´Hara to Robin Hood in "Robin Hood - Men in Tights". 
"Ey isch hasse China Kneipe, die tun Hunde in´s Essen!" Der gutaussehende Chix-Checker Cem, der wo krass weiß was so geht, ey, in der erstaunlich witzigen ARD Serie "Türkisch für Anfänger".
"Please fill in the form NOW!!" The USA Green Card Programm to the Jo, approximately 8 times a week...(finally decided to immigrate to Russia!!).
"Actually - we are very poor and we can´t afford pyjamas...and we only have one bed...is that a problem for you?" The sexy american girls to Colin "I´m a sex god, I just live on the wrong continent!" in "Love actually". BTW the Juli and the Jo have plans to move together, guys ;-).
"Oh noooo baby, If I´d wanted a foreplay, I would have asked for it!" The sentence all men dream of...and will surely NEVER hear!!
"Il faut se détendre..." Mme Mercier, our stupid french prof, during classes... argh!
"Ein Mann - ein Word" about Jerzy, our crazy polish informatics prof...
"Ja nee is klar..." Der einzig in sich schlüssige Satz, der jemals über die Lippen von Atze Schröder gekommen ist.
"Are you my conscience??" Dori in "Finding Nemo".
And finally the best truths of all times...
Taoism: Shit happens.
Confucianism: Confucius says, "Shit happens."
Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
Zen Buddhism: Shit is, and is not.
Hinduism: This shit has happened before.
Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserve it.
Protestantism: Let shit happen to someone else.
Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us?
Capitalism: That's MY shit.
Communism: It's everybody's shit.
Chauvinism: We may be shit, but you can't live without us...
Impressionism: From a distance, shit looks like a garden.
Atheism: I can't believe this shit!
Feminism: Shit happens because of men!!
Well, we guess that you had enough of life-changing aphorisms and fancy talk for tonight! The Juli and I will finally have our dinner!
For everyone a huuuuge kiss, we are sooooo lucky for today, life´s just great, CU
XXXXD
Juli and JO
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02 April 2006
Sonntag, April 02, 2006
..Caaaantare owoeho *sing*
Sooo I`m back to "normal" life. I finally finished my night-shift-seminarpaper ( my coffe-machine can feel releaved now ) and the stressy work for the Grand Opening Party is over as well..
For everybody who is not informed yet ( all the others, who are allready bored by this theme: stop reading!): 4 other girls and myself we opened our own BAR (Juhuuu!!) called Klubsofa ( www.klubsofa.com ( sorry but the internetfreak who designed the webpage is not ready yet..I don´t know what kind of a pro he is.. I mean Jo and I we did it in at least 2 hours :-)) Sounds pretty unbelievable, and its actually a little bit chaotic ( o.K. that´s just normal when I´m involved )but it´s so much fun..And I really love working there (and not just because of the tips, which are by the way immense). I´m responsible for the Buying-department ( which girl wouldn´t be happy to go to the hypermarket where they sell 5 kilo-chocolate-bars??), the decoration (more flowers, more red, more posters of male models in the girls bathroom...) and music (finally a bar were they play exclusivly music I like).
Ohh sh** I have to stop here. I really have to go to university now, I wasn´t there the last week. Wish me luck that the teachers had a nice week-end and are in a very friendly mood. So I have to go now ( hope the Jo is not missing our bus again ), I will practice my innocent look on the way ( ok, that was a joke, I always look innocent :o)
Todays plans: Watching Gilmore girls with the Jo all night long( just the episodes in wich Jess plays an important role :o)
Todays Coffee rate: 0 cups ( I ran out of milk ), but still an excessive coffein level from the last days
Todays feeling by looking on my bank statement: suuuupi, I guess I can fill up my fridge and the beer stock today!!
Kisses to everyone out there (ok just to these ones, who want to be kissed by me...nobody should be able to complain that I´m to obtrusive :o)
The Juli